Confession, Kinda Like Extraction of Spiritual Tooth Decay

Reposted from Saturday, January 17th, 2009

I’m writing this in front of a computer with an ice pack tied to my head. I call it my hands-free redtooth device, put in place to reduce the swelling I’m experiencing from having two molars extracted. This is my physical body telling me it’s been brutalized.

My two upper 3rd molars were not being used for anything. They had no counterparts beneath them on which to grind on, and instead they were simply collecting dirt in pockets of food. In time, those molars would have slipped out anyway. My dentist advised me to get rid of them, thereby reducing any dirt collection areas they were hiding.

“104/365: I love the dentist.” Flickr photo by Betsssssy.

Miraculously, she extracted them in 5 minutes, painlessly. The injection was painless because her hands were steady. And the tooth extraction itself? She didn’t need forceps. Just one tool which looked a chisel, and 2 minutes per tooth. Wow. After all those painful extractions of my youth, this one was a miracle.

Until I got home, and the anesthesia wore off, and I was in pain that shot out like lightning bolts, from head to toe. Got the ice pack, filled it to the brim and lay down without eating. Slept it off. And now, a day later, it’s acting up again. So I administer the ice pack, and stick to the soft foods.

* * *

Just this Monday, I went to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It was just after the 7 AM Mass at our parish. I sat down with my pastor and parish priest and confessed my sins to God, through the priest (who is Our Lord’s stand-in), and he reminded me that loving is accepting without expectation (or, that I must “Love without counting,” as I’ve blogged about before). Harboring bitterness or expectations is not healthy, he told me. So, love without asking for anything in return. I sat in prayer before the tabernacle housing the ultimate expression of loving unconditionally.

I know I am forgiven because I believe that when Jesus instituted His church on earth, He gave the apostles the authority to bind and loose (Matthew 16:19), which is the authority to forgive sins and reconcile sinners with the church.

“confession.” Flickr photo by jovike.

Like my molar extraction, the pain hit me afterwards in the form of temptation. In my past year at my job, I’ve never felt more irritable than this week. And it’s been a struggle fighting it. It’s been tough going. But through God’s grace, things have been more than fine. Things have been taken care of. Prayer helps, and the daily reading of Scripture and the Catechism enriches me.

But see, I’m better off without the molars, just as I’m better off without the sins. And even if the physical body aches (molars) and is buffeted with temptation (spirit), I know in the end, that this is good for me. And this is how it should be.

Five Reasons Why I Go To Daily Mass

Reposted from Saturday, June 21st, 2008

1. Receiving Christ in the Blessed Eucharist gives me the strength to fight selfish pride and sin.
I’m not saying I’m a saint. The truth is far far away from that. Ask my wife. But I do know that pride and my ego are the two constant demons I must battle. I want my pleasure, my sleep, my comfort, my free time to do what I want. It’s a constant struggle to kill these impulses especially when they impede on other priorities and other relationships. And I already know I cannot win alone. I wasn’t made perfect. I was made weak and frail and egotistical so that I can acknowledge that any good that happens is from God.

Because it takes supernatural strength to combat ego. And I get that strength from my Lord as He is present in the Eucharist. The sanctifying grace that pours through me when I receive the consecrated host allows me to stop before uttering a word of anger, or engaging in a selfish sin. And truly, those days when I fail, the days when my weak flesh regains control, are the days when I fail to receive communion, or decide not to show up at the morning mass.

The back of the cross at Saint Joachim’s. My photo.

2. Praising God first thing in the morning is the most important thing on my daily calendar.
First things first, as they say. And since I’ve been blessed to live a mere walking distance away from my parish, I take it as a privilege and a gift that I can make God the first thing in my day literally by worshipping Him in His temple. Add to that the fact that God asks for the first fruits of your harvest, the first tenth of all your blessings. Going to Mass is offering the first part of my day to the Lord who is the source of all my blessing.

3. The Mass is my ongoing spiritual formation.
The beautiful thing about the Mass is that is so drenched in scripture. And attending it every weekday allows me to soak in God’s Word. Since I play the organ as well and get to pick the songs each day, it means I am forced to read each day’s readings ahead of time so that the music fits the liturgy. Add to this the enriching homilies put forth by the trio of SVD priests who pastor our parish, and you get a full Catholic education in Christ, stewardship, the sacraments, the saints, and evangelization 260 days a year. Growing in the Lord a day at a time.

4. The Mass heals.
Every Mass is a healing experience. It heals wounds caused by our sinful nature, it heals our relationship with God and one another, bringing us closer to our Lord, giving us opportunities to draw near and receive Him not only in the Word, but also in the Blessed Eucharist.

Back in my first two years of high school, I used to curse quite foully. Every other word was dirty and spiteful, and it was affecting me, tainting my mood, keeping me in a constant state of anger and impatience. I started going to the daily mass in third year and after a while, without my noticing, the foul vocabulary died away. In fact it only came to my attention when my classmates started wondering why I wasn’t cursing anymore. These days I pray for healing of a different kind. And I have faith that the Lord will grant it to me as long as I stay faithful to Him.

5. I meet my creator, my friend and my love.
As Saint Augustine says: my heart is restless until it rests in You. I find shelter in the wings of the Lord. Every morning, I find it at His temple. During the day, I find it in silent prayer wherever I am. I yearn for Him every morning knowing my day is incomplete without worship, finding no other solace but His Word and His sacraments. And in surrendering to His love, in accepting the daily challenge to get up early and meet Him in the Eucharist, I find ever more joy.

Fasting Before Communion

Reposted from Thursday, October 25th, 2007

ParishWorld.net has a wonderful article on the traditional one-hour fast before receiving Holy Communion. In the article, Fr.William Saunders reminds us that fasting is an exercise of humility, hope and love — essential virtues in preparing to receive the Holy Eucharist.

In Sacred Scripture, fasting was a physical preparation for a spiritual encounter — for entering into the presence of God. Moses fasted 40 days before receiving the 10 commandments, Jesus fasted 40 days before his public ministry began. Fasting in general is a way to mortify the flesh (to remind ourselves that our bodies are not in charge) so that we can more fully hunger for Christ and His holiness and His presence in our bodies as we take Him in the form of the host.

Jesus said in the beatitudes, “Blest are they who hunger and thirst for holiness; they shall have their fill” (Mt 5:6).

It’s a beautiful tradition if you ask me. One in which we prepare our bodies, which are temples of the Holy Spirit, to receive the Lord of all.