Lord, How Do I Serve You?

Reposted from Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

For some time now, I've been wrestling with this problem: how do I serve the Lord more fully with the talents given me? There are so many ways I could. The possibilities burn in my heart and roll around in my guts, mainly because I know these blessings were given in order to be used for furthering the Kingdom. And yet there are so many obstacles. And so I asked Him:

How do you want me to serve you, Lord?

"Dark Prayers." Photo by Stuck in Customs on Flickr.

You've given me the ability to teach in a classroom setting. If it is Your will, I'd love to become a catechist or a missionary one day, and share my faith with others. But I'm afraid I don't know enough, I'm afraid I don't have the maturity with which to defend the faith against those who would attack it. And how do I do make time for this?

You've given me the gift of music. I would love to play music for You in Your church on a full-time basis one day, perhaps, if You so desire. But how do I do this without sacrificing time for my family?

You've given me the ability to write and I would one day love to work as a full-time writer for a publication that spreads the faith to others, if You but will it. But I'm afraid of applying and leaving the comfort of the status quo. How do I provide for my family on what I understand to be a lower wage?

You've given me the ability to create music and audio and I would one day love to do so for a broadcast medium on a regular basis. But how do I start?

I love you and wish to serve you but I have no idea why You aren't giving me any insight onto how to do all these grand things for You.

+ + +

Today, after Mass, at the adoration chapel, on my knees in prayer, I felt the Lord telling me one thing:

"Serve me where you are."

And the rest of this came tumbling out of my fingers at a frightening pace:

"You want to share your faith with a classroom? I gave you 120 students over 2 years in a Catholic college, and how did you do? Not very well. So I took that away from you and now I give you one student whom I am asking you to teach to read and write in English. He's already Catholic but doesn't understand the faith too well. How are you doing with him? Serve me by serving him.

"Besides, you don't need to be in a classroom to share your faith. All you need to do is use that mouth I've given you, and fear not what others have to say. Speak up instead of cowering in fear. '...But do it with gentleness and reverence.' (1 Peter 3:15-16) Serve as my missionary to the people you meet daily: fellow commuters, officemates, your own family.

"You want to play music full-time for me? You're asking me for something you already have. I've given you the daily morning Mass at your parish to minister to. There are no obstacles there. The organ works, the song books have beautiful songs, your brothers and sisters in Christ love to sing. So... why were you not at your post last week? How do you expect me to give you more when you cannot even be faithful in a little? (Matthew 25:29) If you will serve me, then I don't want wishy-washy volunteers who disappear when they're lazy or can't wake up for the 7 AM Mass. I want full-time dedicated workers who will make it a point to be at their post.

"You want to write for publications? Is this really for me, or for the chance to see your own name in print? If you want to write, you already have this blog which I have blessed you with. I've made this blog possible by asking a friend to donate the server space and bandwidth, and what have you done with it? I see you've turned it around from what it once was -- an altar to all that was worldly-- and are now doing your best to serve me through it. You don't have to be employed by a publication to write about me. Serve me where you already are!

"You want to make music and audio that can promote the faith and speak of me? What are you waiting for? A record contract, an external green signal to tell you when to create? You have the tools and the knowledge. Use them. Now. Serve me with what you already have.

"The problem you have is you seek grand gestures. You want to build great things for me and while that is well and good, I'm afraid you're way too proud to be of use to me at this point. I seek no burnt offerings but ... 'the lowly (humble) and afflicted (contrite) man who trembles at my word.' (Isaiah 66:1-2)

"How have you been a servant to your wife? Do you love her and support her in all she does, despite your differences? Do you serve your mother-in-law with humility? Do you serve my church with faithfulness? Do you serve your workplace with honesty and excellence? There are so many ways to serve me fully in your daily life.

"Serve me where you already are. With what you have. There is no need to look elsewhere."

We are priests with a small "P"

From today's Good News Reflections:

Thus, Jesus our High Priest is present with us at every Catholic Mass in the Word, in the Eucharist, and in the priest through whom Jesus preaches the Word and through whom Jesus changes the bread and wine into the Eucharist.

When we — the common priests and the ministerial priests — eat his body and drink his blood, we are united to Christ's sacrifice and the salvation that it gives us. Thus united to Jesus, we all become Christ's body on earth for the continuation of his ministry. Are we continuing his ministry well?

May we then be holy priests, holy vessels, holy tabernacles Christ, who through our actions and our speech continuously lead people to Christ and glorify His name through our lives.

Saint Agnes's Zeal for Christ was No Teenage Crush

"St. Agnes." Flickr Photo by Truus, Bob & Jan too!

Today is January 21st, the feast day of St. Agnes, the Roman teenage virgin-martyr who, as tradition tells us, refused marriage proposals claiming she was betrothed to none other than Christ. She was young, beautiful, pure, born of a rich family, and even at the young age of 14, totally surrendered to the Lord. Because this was during the time when Christians in Rome were being persecuted, fed to lions, and publicly executed, all these spurned suitors decided if they couldn't have her, then no one could. She was reported to the authorities who threw her into a brothel to torture her. But no man dared approach her. Her purity was too awesome. And her faith throughout it all so totally different. Irritated, the Roman governor had her executed. And even then she encouraged her tormentors to finish the job as she despised the physical beauty she possessed that made the Roman suitors lust after her.

• She could have had her pick of any of the young influential suitors that were hounding her door and married into a powerful family and even multiplied her family's wealth, had she been looking for earthly power or earthly possessions. But she was not.
  
  
• She could have had any of the handsome, probably muscular, young men as husbands had she been looking for mere earthly pleasure. But she was not.
  
  
• She could have stayed quiet about her Christian convictions, and hidden it from people and stayed safe, and stayed alive, had she been looking for earthly security. But again, she was not.

Instead, she loved Christ the only way she knew how: vibrantly, loudly, boldly, purely. This was no fragile teenage crush, no infatuation with a teen idol, no puppy love that would fade after a season. This was a love that allowed a teenager to face torture and death fearlessly because it was focused totally on the God who became man, on the God who died on a cross for our sins, on the God who by His death and resurrection promises us life beyond this earthly life.

This was true fervor and zeal, proclaimed boldly, proclaimed unto death.

St. Agnes, pray for the youth of today, that they may be strong against temptation and keep their eyes and hearts focused on our Lord Jesus who gives us the strength and the grace to face all tribulation boldly.

Confession, Kinda Like Extraction of Spiritual Tooth Decay

Reposted from Saturday, January 17th, 2009

I’m writing this in front of a computer with an ice pack tied to my head. I call it my hands-free redtooth device, put in place to reduce the swelling I’m experiencing from having two molars extracted. This is my physical body telling me it’s been brutalized.

My two upper 3rd molars were not being used for anything. They had no counterparts beneath them on which to grind on, and instead they were simply collecting dirt in pockets of food. In time, those molars would have slipped out anyway. My dentist advised me to get rid of them, thereby reducing any dirt collection areas they were hiding.

“104/365: I love the dentist.” Flickr photo by Betsssssy.

Miraculously, she extracted them in 5 minutes, painlessly. The injection was painless because her hands were steady. And the tooth extraction itself? She didn’t need forceps. Just one tool which looked a chisel, and 2 minutes per tooth. Wow. After all those painful extractions of my youth, this one was a miracle.

Until I got home, and the anesthesia wore off, and I was in pain that shot out like lightning bolts, from head to toe. Got the ice pack, filled it to the brim and lay down without eating. Slept it off. And now, a day later, it’s acting up again. So I administer the ice pack, and stick to the soft foods.

* * *

Just this Monday, I went to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It was just after the 7 AM Mass at our parish. I sat down with my pastor and parish priest and confessed my sins to God, through the priest (who is Our Lord’s stand-in), and he reminded me that loving is accepting without expectation (or, that I must “Love without counting,” as I’ve blogged about before). Harboring bitterness or expectations is not healthy, he told me. So, love without asking for anything in return. I sat in prayer before the tabernacle housing the ultimate expression of loving unconditionally.

I know I am forgiven because I believe that when Jesus instituted His church on earth, He gave the apostles the authority to bind and loose (Matthew 16:19), which is the authority to forgive sins and reconcile sinners with the church.

“confession.” Flickr photo by jovike.

Like my molar extraction, the pain hit me afterwards in the form of temptation. In my past year at my job, I’ve never felt more irritable than this week. And it’s been a struggle fighting it. It’s been tough going. But through God’s grace, things have been more than fine. Things have been taken care of. Prayer helps, and the daily reading of Scripture and the Catechism enriches me.

But see, I’m better off without the molars, just as I’m better off without the sins. And even if the physical body aches (molars) and is buffeted with temptation (spirit), I know in the end, that this is good for me. And this is how it should be.

My 2009 Bible and CCC Reading Challenge

Reposted from Friday, January 9th, 2009

It took me a while to truly get into this. Partly because of stubbornness, laziness, and mostly because of sinfulness. But I’m in it now, I’m sticking to it, and maybe by blogging about it here and telling you what I’m up to, I can help others get into it as well.

Into what exactly? I’m reading the Holy Bible (NAB version) and the Catechism of the Catholic Church in a systematic manner, daily, in order to get through both books by the end of 2009. And despite my original hesitation, I’m thoroughly enjoying this study and this challenge, finding joy in the things I read.

• I found this print-ready reading guide [PDF download] on www.chnetwork.org which has a daily checklist of chapters to read from both books.
  
• And I finally bought myself a cheap, second-hand copy of the CCC and opened it with a mechanical pencil in hand, ready for margin notes.
  
• To top it all off, randomly reading some Catholic blogposts, I stumbled across a free Catholic Holy Bible software with concordance and a module for the CCC. It’s called Jerome, named after St.Jerome, and is a freeware project born out of the eSword Bible project. Lovely!

“120 year old Bible title page (as of 2005) American.” Flickr photo by Wonderlane. Follow the link and read about how she donated the old bible to a church in Mexico.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been reading my Bible regularly this past year, more than any other year in my life, primarily going over the scripture readings for the daily Mass. But never have I finished reading it from cover to cover. What’s more, I’ve never read the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), relying mainly on websites and compendia of the CCC rather than going through the original text. Which in a word, is shameful. More and more, I am discovering I do not know enough about my faith to give a reasonable defense of it. So, how else to know God’s Word than to study it daily?

Psalm 1:2-3 says it so wonderfully: (1:2) Rather, the law of the LORD is their joy; God’s law they study day and night. (1:3) They are like a tree planted near streams of water, that yields its fruit in season; Its leaves never wither; whatever they do prospers.

Why not try a new year’s resolution that’s more meaningful? Why not read the Bible this year?

May we all grow towards the Lord this 2009 in mind and heart, that by doing so, we may hide His law in our hearts and make His words come to life in our daily actions.

Answering God’s Invitation to the Banquet

Reposted from Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

Today’s Gospel reading gives us a lot to think about in the realm of invitations and feasts. At Mass this morning, our priest asked us to share our experiences as guests or hosts — what happens when someone you invite doesn’t make it? Or how do you feel when you’re singled out, asked to come to a meal that is special?

I shared about how I have two former officemates who I invited to my wedding in 2000. They never made it. They never tried to contact me either to tell me they couldn’t go or that they had no transportation to get to the church. They simply didn’t show up. Possibly, they felt they would be just one more person in a crowd. I wanted to share our blessed union with them– a day unlike any other — and they didn’t go.

Eucharist. Flickr photo by shioshvili.

To this day, it’s a running joke during those rare times when we get to communicate, that they didn’t come to my wedding and thus get no free favors from me. But the truth is, at the time, it felt … insulting. Almost like, hey, we have more important things to do. Because really, what it boils down to is priorities. If you refuse an invitation, you’re saying something else is more important, is more of a priority.

Which is pretty much what the three characters in today’s Gospel reading (Lk 14:15-24) did: they told the host that they had more important things to do than attend a great dinner. One was concerned about the field he’d just bought (material possessions), one was concerned with oxen he’d just purchased (livelihood, career), and the last was concerned that he’d just been married (relationships). These three were saying “Master, this concern of mine is what’s keeping me from your dinner. Sorry, I’m out.”

How sad the Father must feel when we refuse His invitation. Because it’s a free dinner He calls us to share in. One where all we need to bring is a humble and contrite heart. One where we are called to join our large, celestial family of Heaven-dwelling and Earth-bound saints in the praise and worship of the eternal Bread of Life, who is Jesus. Jesus present in our brethren gathered around the table. Jesus in the Word of Sacred Scripture. Jesus come down to Earth in the Blessed Eucharist.

Maybe it’s time we stop letting our obsession with material possessions hinder us from “tasting and seeing that the Lord is good.” Maybe it’s time we stop making our careers and livelihoods the central focus of our energies instead of following the Will of God for our lives. Maybe it’s time we stop making relationships and other people as our excuse for not getting to Mass or church or synagogue or chapel, for not fostering our relationship with Him.

Maybe it’s time we heed the call.

Donut Birthday & Morning Mass

Reposted from Sunday, October 19th, 2008

I was walking to Mass last Wednesday morning in the dim morning light. Rosary nearly through, the clock exactly at 7 AM. I rounded the corner at the local donut shop and saw a sight I don’t normally see that early in the day. A group of people were gathered around a table, patrons and donut shop crew alike, singing "Happy Birthday" to someone. A birthday party at 7 AM in the morning! As the birthday song died down, someone — probably the celebrant — brought out a harmonica and started blowing a tune I did not recognize.

I was out of earshot a few seconds later, smiling from ear to ear. I was heading towards my own morning party, my own daily celebration of life and love and sacrifice. I was heading towards the 7 AM Mass which had started already, and which would commemorate Christ’s death and suffering, but even more, would bring Christ present to us physically, in the form of the Blessed Eucharist.

“Dark Church.” Photo by Wiros on Flickr.

Upon arriving, I switched on the electronic keyboard in the daily chapel ready to sing my own version of a celebratory song — the Alleluia before the Gospel.

Praise God for every daily blessing. Praise God for morning parties and for the overflowing blessings — all of which are reasons to celebrate joyfully, with praise and thanksgiving.

Philippians 4:4 reminds us: “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!”

God Sends Me a Black Cat in the Organ

Reposted from Monday, August 25th, 2008

You can sum up my entire life in this sentence: God likes sending me black cats in the organ.

I arrived late for Mass this morning because I couldn’t seem to find the donations flyer I got in the mail for a convent of Benedictine nuns. Apparently, someone’s been throwing out my mail for me. This brought up irritation and a hint of bitterness which made me mad but also guilty. How do you worship the Lord with weight like that in your heart? So, en route to church, trusting in the Lord to deliver me from evil thoughts and irritation, I brought out the rosary and prayed the second half of the Glorious Mysteries since I was unable to finish the night before. Reflecting on Christ’s resurrection then ascension brings things back into perspective to tell you the truth. And by the end, the Lord lifted it from my heart.

“Metaphor the Dusty Cat,” photo by acid42 on Flickr.

I positioned myself at the aged electronic organ, despite my lateness, powering it up. And by the time the Agnus Dei came around I was ready to play. Except the volume pedal seemed stuck. It was at full volume and didn’t want to move. I took a look at it and there seemed to be some black foam blocking its path? So I jammed my foot on the pedal hoping to force it to move, and as it did…

A black cat came running out of the hole housing the pedal, racing for the nearest exit. I uttered an “Oh!” which was thankfully drowned out by people greeting each other with a sign of peace.

Looks like the church has a resident feline organist.

The organ worked okay after that. I just realized that some of the noise problems the organ displays, may be due to the cat scratching or biting down on the wires. Who would’ve known?

Thus says the Lord: “Stop taking your bitter pills, Lionel, and laugh. See? I sent you a black cat to lift your spirits. Now try to be more positive.”

St.Bridget of Sweden - princess, wife, mother, widow

Reposted from Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

St.Bridget of Sweden

Strong women impress me. Saint Bridget of Sweden is one of them. She persevered till the completion of her race. That we are all called to holiness no matter what our station is in life, is a given in the Christian journey. Still, having eight children, even while being a princess, was probably no walk in the park. No wonder then she is patron saint of widows… and Europe. And yes, her fourth child Catherine would later be known as St.Catherine of Sweden. Which goes to show you: the first apostolate is the family. If we can inspire the people closest to us to look upon the Lord, then we are living out our faith. May we all learn to be bright beacons of faith in our respective homes.

Here is a link to her booklet of 15 beautiful prayers entitled Pieta. While the prayers are beautiful and definitely have been used by the faithful for centuries, the other material (the promises) in the booklet are private revelation to St.Bridget. Catholics are free to believe in them or not. They are not officially accepted by the Catholic Church. Just for your info.

Five Reasons Why I Go To Daily Mass

Reposted from Saturday, June 21st, 2008

1. Receiving Christ in the Blessed Eucharist gives me the strength to fight selfish pride and sin.
I’m not saying I’m a saint. The truth is far far away from that. Ask my wife. But I do know that pride and my ego are the two constant demons I must battle. I want my pleasure, my sleep, my comfort, my free time to do what I want. It’s a constant struggle to kill these impulses especially when they impede on other priorities and other relationships. And I already know I cannot win alone. I wasn’t made perfect. I was made weak and frail and egotistical so that I can acknowledge that any good that happens is from God.

Because it takes supernatural strength to combat ego. And I get that strength from my Lord as He is present in the Eucharist. The sanctifying grace that pours through me when I receive the consecrated host allows me to stop before uttering a word of anger, or engaging in a selfish sin. And truly, those days when I fail, the days when my weak flesh regains control, are the days when I fail to receive communion, or decide not to show up at the morning mass.

The back of the cross at Saint Joachim’s. My photo.

2. Praising God first thing in the morning is the most important thing on my daily calendar.
First things first, as they say. And since I’ve been blessed to live a mere walking distance away from my parish, I take it as a privilege and a gift that I can make God the first thing in my day literally by worshipping Him in His temple. Add to that the fact that God asks for the first fruits of your harvest, the first tenth of all your blessings. Going to Mass is offering the first part of my day to the Lord who is the source of all my blessing.

3. The Mass is my ongoing spiritual formation.
The beautiful thing about the Mass is that is so drenched in scripture. And attending it every weekday allows me to soak in God’s Word. Since I play the organ as well and get to pick the songs each day, it means I am forced to read each day’s readings ahead of time so that the music fits the liturgy. Add to this the enriching homilies put forth by the trio of SVD priests who pastor our parish, and you get a full Catholic education in Christ, stewardship, the sacraments, the saints, and evangelization 260 days a year. Growing in the Lord a day at a time.

4. The Mass heals.
Every Mass is a healing experience. It heals wounds caused by our sinful nature, it heals our relationship with God and one another, bringing us closer to our Lord, giving us opportunities to draw near and receive Him not only in the Word, but also in the Blessed Eucharist.

Back in my first two years of high school, I used to curse quite foully. Every other word was dirty and spiteful, and it was affecting me, tainting my mood, keeping me in a constant state of anger and impatience. I started going to the daily mass in third year and after a while, without my noticing, the foul vocabulary died away. In fact it only came to my attention when my classmates started wondering why I wasn’t cursing anymore. These days I pray for healing of a different kind. And I have faith that the Lord will grant it to me as long as I stay faithful to Him.

5. I meet my creator, my friend and my love.
As Saint Augustine says: my heart is restless until it rests in You. I find shelter in the wings of the Lord. Every morning, I find it at His temple. During the day, I find it in silent prayer wherever I am. I yearn for Him every morning knowing my day is incomplete without worship, finding no other solace but His Word and His sacraments. And in surrendering to His love, in accepting the daily challenge to get up early and meet Him in the Eucharist, I find ever more joy.

No Resurrection Without Crosses

Reposted from Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

“Cross and Reflection” by Kyle Thompson on Flickr. Released with a CC license.

Easter Sunday was not within three days of the Transfiguration but within three days of Good Friday. Love is not to be measured by the joy and pleasures it gives but by the ability to draw out of sorrow, a resurrection out of a crucifixion, and life out of death. Unless there is a cross in our life, there will never be an empty tomb; unless there is the crown of thorns, there will never be a halo of light.
- Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

The idea boggles the mind actually. Or maybe that’s because as naturally selfish humans we tend to think solely of life’s crosses as hardships and suffering instead of as an opportunity given to us by God for purification.

One of the senior ladies at church once told me she thanked the Lord daily that she was given challenging people to work with. Because daily, she was given an opportunity to be holy, to be a saint, to be an adopted child of God. Of course, daily she also had to struggle to not be irritable, callous, or downright scornful. But that’s the point of the struggle: to combat, and most importantly, with God’s grace, to win against sin. Each victory a resurrection, a resumption and affirmation of life.

Sorrow, long waiting, suffering, trials, loss: the stuff of saints, the refining fire of God.

The point He’s trying to make which we sometimes don’t get: you are always at the right place at the right time. Now, at this moment, in this painful situation, what can you do to show your love for God? If we follow the path laid out for us, the path through dark valleys, we will emerge in the green pastures of Psalm 23, with tables laid out for us in sight of our foes, with the Good Shepherd always with us. With hearts in resurrection mode.

LINKS:

• Archbishop Fulton Sheen bio on Wikipedia.
• Free MP3 files of Fulton Sheen’s “Life Is Worth Living” TV show homilies from the 19650s hosted on the American Catholic Truth Society page. Download all 50 of them. They are WORTH the time it takes to listen. Timeless messages of truth.

Easter Vigils: A Year of Service

Reposted from Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

Easter Vigil at St.Joachim Church in Hayward

Last year was the first time I attended the Easter Vigil at St. Joachim Church here in Hayward CA. I’d just migrated here from the Philippines, and was still getting used to Stateside life. Plus I had been coming to the daily morning masses intermittently, finding solace and spiritual reconnection once again in baby steps, when suddenly Holy Week was upon me. The Easter Vigil which I attended with Agnes, crept upon me unawares.

It was just so vastly different from the other vigils I’d attended in the past back in Manila. Maybe because, for the first time in a long time, I was on the other side. I was in the congregation as a fully cognizant participant instead of in the choir as a music minister. Maybe for the first time in ages, I was finally meaning the words I prayed. Maybe the difference simply lay in the liturgy used.

Whatever it was, the difference was palpable and awesome. From the blessing of the fire to the procession through the darkened church with the blessed flame lighting the way, to the beautiful singing and the 7 readings each done in a different corner, I was awestruck and captivated. The liturgy of the celebration was unusual and new and beautiful, and through it– through the readings from Sacred Scriptures, through the ceremonies and symbolisms, through the experience and the Spirit — I felt the prodding of the Lord to return to His service. I volunteered soon after, and began playing music for the daily masses. And re-committed myself to growing in the Lord.

Friends in St. Joachim (clockwise from Upper Left): with Jose of the Spanish choir, Choir Director Ed Magistrado studies a piece, the pipe organ which is my battle station, Fr. Jimmy Aguilar preaches, posing with Tita Luz Datayan and Fr. Hieu

This year was different maybe because I was on the other side of the fence as part of the music ministry and in the middle of a sea of activity that never seemed to wane.

Yes, many things were the same: the liturgy was just as beautiful as I remembered, the experience of prayerful reflection on the Word of God was as moving as ever.

What changed? This time around, I was less a visitor to a church in a land I was not born in, but more a family member celebrating the joyful truth of Christ’s resurrection in a church that has become my home.

Being Prepared vs Being Blocked

Reposted from Saturday, January 12th, 2008

This arrived in my email reflection for this Sunday’s Gospel readings:

“…And if you feel frustrated because you’re not yet doing what you’d like to do, as long as it’s something that God wants you to do, you’re being prepared, not blocked. You have been chosen by the Father and he is very pleased with you!” — Terry Modica (Good News Ministries )

What it all comes down to is perspective. And this perspective can be altered only by personal choice. Do you choose to see the silver lining or do you see the rain-filled cloud? Half-empty or half-full? Blessing or curse?

Ignatius at Pamplona experiencing cannonball pain

Having faith in God’s plan for your life means seeing temporary setbacks as preparation time: a warm-up before a major race begins. Having faith that God only has good intentions for your life and your welfare means accepting situations wholeheartedly no matter how disappointed or frustrated you might immediately feel. It means letting go of all of that disappointment, and trusting in the Almighty that He has something good for you to learn through all of this.

You think the cannonball that ripped through his leg stopped Ignatius of Loyola from doing the work of the Kingdom of God? Nope. It just forced him to re-assess his career path, and read the Bible and the Lives of the Saints while bed-ridden, and come to know his true life’s mission. And he emerged from it, choosing to see it as a blessing, as a preparation for becoming a global missionary.

May we all trust in the Lord’s plan for our lives. For from him comes all good. And every trial is a chance to become perfect in the eyes of our Creator.

Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. –James 1:2-4

St.Therese Couderc's song of surrender: From Marikina to Milpitas

Reposted from Friday, November 9th, 2007

Exactly a year ago (give or take a few days), a woman named Heidi from the St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Milpitas, CA contacted me to ask if they could use a song I composed for a fundraising CD they were planning to release in their parish.

The song they wanted to use was “Pag-Aalay ng Sarili” which I made the music for, using Coring Dolor’s Filipino translation of St.Therese Couderc’s Act of Oblation. I wrote the music back in September 23, 1991 for the Cenacle Sisters in the Philippines, and they ended up using it for their vows ceremonies, where sisters take vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. The song was originally recorded by Sr.Bubbles Bandojo, RC and Sr.Susay Valdez, RC both friends of mine, in the album Prayers From The Upper Room.

I gave my consent to the recording via email, asking only that Heidi contribute a part of the CD sales to the Cenacle Sisters in the U.S., or mention their contact info in the liner notes for possible vocations. And then I completely forgot about it, as I am wont to do.

Lo and behold, I got an email today with an attached MP3 and got shivers up my spine listening to it. Heidi sings both parts of the song, accompanied by Nathaniel Camillo (I assume from the MP3’s embedded info), and the simplicity and honesty of it touched my heart. Partly because I haven’t heard it in such a long time, partly because it’s sung with such earnestness, and it sounds great despite being a first pass (sometimes first passes are the BEST), and partly because I NEEDED to hear the song today, and God brought her email and her MP3 to me in order to remind me about some things.

The song will be part of a CD which will be released on December 9, 2007 by the Social Justice Ministry of St John the Baptist Catholic Church in Milpitas, CA. They might hand out the CD as a token of appreciation instead of selling it, for their Refugee Sunday event on that day. The event is aimed at reaching out and speaking with refugees in their area, who at this time are mostly from Eastern Europe, the Middle East and Africa. Pass by if you’re in the area!

LINK to music sheet of the song (PDF download).

Related Post:
St. Couderc’s Surrender

Fasting Before Communion

Reposted from Thursday, October 25th, 2007

ParishWorld.net has a wonderful article on the traditional one-hour fast before receiving Holy Communion. In the article, Fr.William Saunders reminds us that fasting is an exercise of humility, hope and love — essential virtues in preparing to receive the Holy Eucharist.

In Sacred Scripture, fasting was a physical preparation for a spiritual encounter — for entering into the presence of God. Moses fasted 40 days before receiving the 10 commandments, Jesus fasted 40 days before his public ministry began. Fasting in general is a way to mortify the flesh (to remind ourselves that our bodies are not in charge) so that we can more fully hunger for Christ and His holiness and His presence in our bodies as we take Him in the form of the host.

Jesus said in the beatitudes, “Blest are they who hunger and thirst for holiness; they shall have their fill” (Mt 5:6).

It’s a beautiful tradition if you ask me. One in which we prepare our bodies, which are temples of the Holy Spirit, to receive the Lord of all.

Bearing the Image of Christ Outwardly

Reposted from Wednesday, October 24th, 2007

A while back I was blogging about evangelism for Catholics, and a few days ago, I got this in the email:

Live in such a way that all may know that you bear outwardly as well as inwardly the image of Christ crucified, the model of all gentleness and mercy. - Saint Paul of the Cross (1694-1775)

Part of the equation involves completely expunging your addiction to the tainted pursuits of this materialistic world of ours. My wife’s Baptist pastor has a term for this: Biblical separation. Which is simply: living away from the world and its over-emphasis on the hedonistic accrual of goods and pleasures. Pitch your tent OUTSIDE of Sodom, not within its walls. Or else ask yourself if you’re really a Christian.

But the other half of the equation is identifying yourself with your Savior: the master whom we serve. Romans 6 talks about us becoming slaves of the one we obey. Hopefully we are slaves to righteousness, and claim our gift as adopted sons and daughters of a loving merciful God of truth and love. After identifying yourself with Him, you follow Him, and cultivate His Word in your heart.

Maybe this is what St.Francis of Assisi meant when he said: “Go out and preach the gospel… and if you must, use words.” That somehow, we would bear the image of Christ to the world by the way we lived our lives.

But look at the last part of St. Paul of the Cross’ quote: it’s not just the image of Christ we should be sharing with others, but that of Christ CRUCIFIED. That can’t be easy, can it?

That’s where obedience and surrender comes in. And a whole lotta grace from on high.

Because if we truly serve a master, then we must realize no servant is ever greater than the master. And if the master is crucified? How can we expect an easy life as Christians, much more, as Catholics, when our master gave up all on the cross for sinners? He’s telling us all the time to follow Him from His cross of pain and shame. He’s calling us to die to sin, to die to our old selves, to selfishness and weakness and lust and prejudice and hedonism and excess and addiction and pettiness and slander and gossip.

And to live as children of light.

“For once we were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.” -Ephesians 5:8

Catholic, Evangelize This!

Reposted from Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

I’ve been Catholic all my life, and have grown to cherish this church where God found me, broke me upon his knee, humbled me, and taught me to turn back to His ways and His Word and follow His example.

But one of the things I see so rarely in Catholicism is the willingness to evangelize.

True, in my parish there are ladies who go from door to door every weekend, sharing their faith with people willing to answer their doors. Sadly this is not something everyone in the parish does, although it is indeed God’s command that we share the Gospel with the world.

So, why are we so afraid to do so?

I really think it boils down to the lack of proper training and formation. From the earliest moments in the faith, there should be a nurturing of the spirit of evangelism. There should be a training in knowledge of the faith, enough to clearly explain what one believes in and why, and a companion encouragement to the believer to share what he knows with all he meets. And yet, for many people who have been born into the Catholic faith, there isn’t much of this training. End result: a fearful inadequacy in the face of other faiths who are much more eloquent about what they believe in.

But we can’t be bashful about this! We are commanded to go and do as Christ did, to carry out the Great Commission of Matthew 28:16-20: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…”

So how can us Catholics evangelize?

One set of answers lies in an old Catholic Answers website article: 12 Painless Ways to Evangelize, which lists 12 creative ways to spread more knowledge about the faith. I love that it basically takes its cue from a lot of the other more assertive faiths out there, those that spread a lot of tracts and do a lot of door-knocking. There are some pretty useful tips in there. Although maybe that list SHOULD be updated by now, after all it is an article that is 7 years old.

You can, and should, find the time to inform yourself. And by inform I mean, READ. First and foremost: Read the Holy Bible! Too many of us Catholics plod through life thinking that going to Mass is the only way to hear God’s Word in our lives. It’s not the only way. There is the written Word. And then there is the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which lists the Catholic doctrines that are all supported by scripture. Read them, know them. There are many other books to support these first two. Bookstores and libraries carry them. Go buy, or borrow some books, and never stop learning about the faith.

Another way is to simply talk with people. The person beside you on the bus stop, the plumber fixing your sink, the man delivering your mail. If the opportunity comes up, don’t hesitate to invite him to Mass at your parish. If it doesn’t, then at the very least, you were kind and friendly.

I guess though, the best evangelism tip I’ve ever heard is (supposedly) from Saint Francis of Assissi (although that's been debunked): "Go out and preach the gospel… and if you must, use words.” The actual written form goes: "Let all the brothers, however, preach by their deeds."

Meaning: live a good, God-ly, Christ-like life — a life so suffused with the Holy Spirit that your days becomes a living testimony of God’s power to change hearts.

St. Therese Couderc’s Surrender

Reposted from Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Stained glass window portraying St.Therese Couderc

To surrender oneself is to follow that spirit of detachment which clings to nothing, neither to persons nor to things, neither to time nor to place. It means to adhere to everything, to accept everything, to submit to everything. - Saint Marie Victoire Therese Couderc (1805-1885)

All I know about St. Therese Couderc is that she founded the order of the Religious Of the Cenacle, (aka the Cenacle Sisters) whose ministry is to give retreats and pray, also, this is the order to which a good college friend belongs. The only other thing I do know is a Filipino translation of her prayer of surrender, the offering of the self, which I set to music, and which the Cenacle Sisters in the Philippines now use as their theme song for their profession of vows.

So it is interesting to read that St.Therese Couderc managed a hostel for women at La Louvesc, France , but after a while, when there were too many people and the place was too unruly and noisy, she asked her superior to change the rules: that they could only give shelter to women who were willing to pray there for several days. And suddenly: a retreat house. When her superior introduced St.Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises, the sisters who came to be known as the Cenacle Sisters found an important element to their spirituality, one that would help them draw the women temporarily staying in their houses to God.

LINK: St.Therese Couderc’s bio.

St. Ignatius’ Letters

Reposted from Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

St. Ignatius of Loyola

I’ve always liked St.Ignatius. I remember reading a book about him as a Grade 3 school-kid in Ateneo de Manila and being puzzled at how a man whose leg got shot through with a cannonball could so completely change his life from one of worldly soldiering to one of Christly teaching via a few months of recuperating with nothing else to read but a book on the saints and the Bible. I’ve always admired him for all that he bravely accomplished in his life but never really knew what he was like as a person, until now that is.

This website hosts a collection of Ignatius’ instructional letters to his fellow Jesuits, and in these letters reveals himself in his entirety: as imperfect man, as worthwhile leader, as spiritual guide, as Soldier Of Christ. Wonderful reading.

Much of Saint Ignatius Loyola’s spiritual teaching is found in his letters, and these have always been regarded by Jesuits as an important source of their spirituality. Among Ignatius’ many letters, those written to his fellow Jesuits have always had a special place, for in these the Jesuit of today not only finds Ignatius’ teaching on the spiritual life, but he also meets Ignatius the man, expressing his affection for, and interest in, those to whom he wrote. None of Ignatius’ other writings so ably exhibits the love he bore in his heart for those who chose to walk with him along the path toward Christ than do these letters.

LINK to Ignatius’ Letters.

Daily Thoughts From St. John Baptist de La Salle

Reposted from Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

Back when I was teaching in De La Salle- College of Saint Benilde, I went in search of the writings of St. John Baptist De La Salle, for whom the school was named. His writings are not well-known to many. And upon finding some of them, I realize why this is so: a lot of his letters had to do with the day-to-day activity of the brothers in his order. On the surface of it all, his words were about mundane things. Nevertheless, his spirituality shines through precisely because it deals with the mundane.

One website I found recently: Daily Thoughts From St. John Baptist de La Salle has collected St. De La Salle’s thoughts and placed one thought, one quote per day for the entire year.

Brother Patrick Tierney F.S.C., took all excerpts from St. La Salle's writings, and added headings and scripture quotes. It’s a lovely way to introduce yourself to the saint’s writings.

St. Peter Chrysologus’ Wisdom

reposted from Friday, August 24th, 2007

St. Peter Chrysologus of Italy. Feast day: July 30.

This quote arrived in my email at the end of last month. And I’d forgotten I started this blog entry then. So let me finish it now. First the quote:

Anyone who wishes to frolic with the devil cannot rejoice with Christ. - Saint Peter Chrysologus (406-450)

Perfect in its simplicity. Succinct and precise. Either you get closer to God or you move away from God and move closer to the world and all its vain allures, and all its empty promises — and everyone knows those vain promises of (fleeting) happiness brought by sin can only come from the devil.

Monday, July 30 is the feast day of St. Peter Chrysologus, who was an archbishop in Italy, and a doctor of the church, and was known for his short homilies because (it was said) he was afraid of boring the people.

And I wouldn’t have known of this quote had it not been for the wonderful work of the Good News Ministries that sends out 2 daily email messages: Today’s Blessing which is a quote by a saint, and Daily Reflections on the Mass readings for the day. Get those 2 emails in your inbox everyday, I implore you. Stop frolicking with the enemy.

LINK: Good News Ministries
LINK: Wikipedia entry on Saint Peter Chrysologus

Mother Teresa’s Dark Night Of The Soul

Reposted from Friday, August 24th, 2007

Time Magazine has an extensive article about a new book of letters spanning 66 years of correspondence between Mother Teresa and her confessors and superiors, showing that she was battling a spiritual dryness since starting her missionary work — a totally new dimension to the woman, one that not even her fellow sisters in the Missionaries of Charity fully knew.

Edited by Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, the man petitioning for Mother Teresa’s sainthood, the letters reveal that Christ talked to her, invited her to start serving the “poorest of the poor,” and then except for 5 weeks in 1959, never again. Yet despite no consolation and possessing the feeling of abandonment by the God she served, she forsook neither her faith nor her work, persevering till death.

The article describes highlights of her life with quotes from the letters, positing explanations for her crisis, and lauding her struggle for holiness and humility.

My respect for her truly deepens.

LINK:Mother Teresa’s Crisis of Faith

My History With The Rosary

Reposted from Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

My finger rosary — a garland of roses at the feet of Mary and a shuriken of prayer.

I really do prefer a finger rosary to a regular rosary with multiple beads and a fragile string which often gets entangled in other stuff. The finger rosary I have is small, sturdy, and fits right into the watch pocket of my pants. In my mind, I think of it as a masculine rosary, one that won’t break if it’s tugged on too much, one that is heavy and solid like a coin or a fist. (In fact, I sometimes think of it as a ninja shuriken that strikes trouble down through prayer. I’m sure conservative Catholics everywhere would disapprove of that image, though!)

FINDING IT QUICKLY

I’ve had this finger rosary for a long time. So long in fact that I don’t remember when I first found it. All I know is that someone had disembarked and left it on a bus some years ago and I– not knowing how to return it to its owner– decided to keep it. Didn’t use it much at the time. In fact, I’d venture to say, it lay dormant in a corner of my drawer for several years. Not until my maternal grandmother Lola Evy lay dying at the Philippine Heart Center in Quezon City, did I pick up the finger rosary I’d found and started to actually use it.

LEARNING IT…SLOWLY

I’m not sure if I remember correctly. But my earliest memory of praying the rosary is Lola Evy sitting in bed with a blanket wrapped around her, and teaching us how to pray it with her at night before sleeping. I was 7 years old, I think, in the Philippines on summer vacation. She gave my sister Nessa and I plastic rosaries with glow-in-the-dark beads which were ultra-cool to us 7-year olds. Later on, thinking it a fashion accessory, I tried wearing it around my neck (this was 10 years before Madonna) before my own mom berated me for it. Also, good thing the beads were imperfectly shaped and made me itchy, which made me stop that disrespectful behavior soon enough.

Blessed is the fruit of thy womb.

The point was, Lola Evy took the time to teach us, the eldest grandchildren how to use it. And when she was lying in her ICU bed, I was in tears remembering this. I started praying the rosary again every morning on the way to work during that period. But soon stopped when I realized I was going to work angry all the time at the crowded rush hour. Mouthing a repetitive prayer didn’t help me at all. I was still angry by the time I’d finish.

I began praying it once more in 2005 to sometime in the middle of 2006, again on the way to my work as a teacher in college. And this time, there was an improvement. The commuter crowds bothered me less, and at the end of the ride and of the rosary, I would immediately notice a lifting of the spirit, enough to make every day seem new and positive. Finally, I felt like I was doing it right. But once again, due to laziness and a growing appetite for worldly things, I soon quit.

PRAYING WITH IT CORRECTLY

Today, like a typical weekday, I was with the elderly ladies after the 8:30 AM mass in St. Joachim’s, on my knees in front of the tabernacle housing the Blessed Sacrament, which is God made present in the form of the Communion host. We were praying the rosary together as we reflected on the highest and lowest points of Jesus’ life.

With us in the Adoration Chapel were the grandchildren of several of the ladies present. Some fidgeting in their seats and walking in and out of the place, others reciting their Hail Marys with us like obedient children. I remembered my Lola Evy with fondness and how she taught us as children, and I prayed for her.

The truth is, and I realized this with much humiliation, I had been praying the rosary wrongly many times in the past and have only now come to realize the proper attitude one needs in order to recite it properly.

• First off: I was doing it as quickly as possible in order to get it over and done with in the least amount of time. Like the rest of my life at the time, I was in a rush, heading nowhere. I mean, it’s fine if you do it on a commute, after all we are asked to pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17)… but don’t rush it in order to say “Look God! I’ve done my prayers! Can I listen to my iPod now?” Not taking the time to do it properly was the first error.
• Second mistake: Because I was always doing it in a rush, I was mouthing the prayers without meaning the words. If ever there is a danger in doing formula prayers, it is in losing the meaning of the words due to familiarity. And yet is that a fault of the prayer or the one praying? Obviously, it is the attitude of the one praying which counts.

GARLAND OF ROSES

I did some research into the rosary a few years back, out of sheer curiosity and found that the word comes from the Latin rosarium, which is “Crown of Roses.” And an early legend which spread throughout Europe in the 13th century or earlier, connected this word with a story of Mother Mary, who was seen taking rosebuds from the mouth of a young monk reciting Hail Marys, and then wove them into a garland which she placed upon her head.

Don’t ask me how, but this image has helped me come to love the devotion even more.

Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn

One more thing that has helped me is something I discovered in ROME SWEET HOME by Scott and Kimberly Hahn, an autobiographical book about how a married Presbyterian minister and his wife eventually converted to Catholicism as their journey in faith took them to the truth. In one chapter where Kimberly struggles with Marian doctrine, a friend calls her on the phone and asks her to read Revelations 12, where in verse 17 it says:

Then the dragon became angry with the woman and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring, those who keep God’s commandments and bear witness to Jesus.

And then at the foot of the cross (John 19:26-27), Jesus saw his mother and the beloved disciple and said:

“Woman behold your son.” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother.”And from that hour, the disciple took her into his home.

Do we keep the commandments and bear witness to Jesus? Then Mary is our spiritual mother, whom the Bible calls blessed, who found favor with the Lord, who was mother of God. Are we Jesus’ disciples? Then shouldn’t we take our spiritual mother into our homes as well?

Several pages later, Kimberly Hahn writes that she had difficulty saying the rosary for the first time, (after a lifetime of being anti-Catholic) unsure of whether it would offend God. But a nun urged her to see herself as a young child before Mary, saying “I love you, Mommy. Pray for me.” Children say that all the time to parents, and yet how can that be “vain repetition” since they mean it with all their young hearts?

SO WHY DO I PRAY THE ROSARY?

After all is said and done, why do I continue praying it? Because the rosary helps me to reflect on our Lord Jesus Christ’s life and death, and at the same time it asks the Blessed Mother to pray for us to Jesus.

“I love you, Mommy. Pray for me.”